Feed Your Head – Shepherd Express

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, right? So listen, are we here the second week of these so-called hot dog summer days of August, or is it now the monkey pox summer days? Hey, you tell me.

And then I will tell you that this position on the calendar means that we are only a few weeks away before the beloved Green & Gold Packers begin a long seasonal work to find a way to try their luck for a place at the Super Bowl by sinking a previous playoff game. Whore.

But it looks like our future Hall of Fame quarterback Aaron “Bold as Love” Rodgers has dated Grace Slick of ’60s Jefferson Airplane psychedelia or the ghost of Alice B. Toklas, with the revelation that AR is a supporter of the hallucinogen known as ayahuasca. Yes sir, you can take the quarterback out of California but you can’t take the quarterback out of California, right?

If I was a sportswriter, and given the Packers’ current roster, I’d like to ask the QB the following: “Don’t you need somebody to throw to / Wouldn’t you like someone to throw to.” Also, as yet, no proven truth to the rumor that Mr Rodgers intends to eschew the football helmet this season and instead plans to play the game wearing flowers in his hair. Ba-ding!

And speaking of visionaries, there’s this from former “President” Donald J. Trumpel-thinskin (according to the great Chauncey Devega at Salon.com) regarding the future of America with a return of the Orange Circus Peanut’s at the White House:

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Donald Trump, like other fascist and authoritarian leaders have done in the past (and today), wants to “disappear” the homeless and other “undesirables”:

Maybe some people won’t like to hear this, but the only way to evict hundreds of thousands of people, and possibly millions of people across our country… is to open up large plots of cheap land in the outskirts of cities, bring in medical professionals… build permanent bathrooms and other facilities, make them good, make them hard, but build them fast, and build thousands and thousands of high quality tents, which can be done in one day. One day. You have to move people.

(Concentration camps, anyone? Maga-damn-nificently fucking swell, what is that.)

You can read Chauncey’s full column here, provided you’re up to date on your blood pressure medication:

https://www.salon.com/2022/08/05/think-first-term-was-a-nightmare-wake-up–if-he-wins-againthe-worst-is-yet-to-come /

And to keep watching another Trumpty-Dumbty ‘administration’ I have a hunch an expanded death penalty is high on Trump’s to-do list because I’m sure he has a list of long-time favorite contestants, I’m not kidding. Cripes, he was all hooked with the lynching of his own Veep Choir Boy Pence, for Christ’s sake.

But I bet you’re a dollar two-eighty he’d rather turn his executions into a reality TV/entertainment shebang – “The Real Death Row Inmates” – maybe on a pay-per-view like the Big -Time Wrestling. But I suspect it should really brighten up or it would be fucking boring but hey, because who the hell wants to pay a lot of money just to watch a guy lying on a bed get his arm shot and then just sleep till what he croaks?

Very little value for your entertainment dollar, there. By executive order, Trump will take the government out of the capital punishment racket and hand it over to the private sector. Let the folks at Focks nutwork handle a show like this: “America’s Craziest, Wackiest Death Row Executions” – load up an old Pinto or some sort of SUV with these scams and drive it out of Pike’s Peak. Or maybe send a bunch of those bastards, registered Democrats, independent journalists and various haters of the people in a hot air balloon and for $10 a bullet (to be deposited into some kind of PAC fund afflicting Trump), members of his militias of the Red State are trying to bring this baby to Earth, what’s up.

And before I forget, about those midterm elections in November, how the hell does a state like Delaware get two senators when your ten states like Michigan or Ohio also only get a devil for the Senate? Come to think of it, why the hell do we even have a Delaware, other than maybe a place to dump used chemicals and we already have New Jersey for that; so for heaven’s sake, we don’t need Delaware. Besides, we don’t need a Rhode Island or a South Carolina or especially Texas either. Detach them or incorporate them into another state or give them to the Palestinians, but let’s do something, shall we?

Anyway, finally, let’s end this now – because I think I may be hearing voices – with a quote from Scotty Fitzgerald: “Let me tell you about the rich. They are different from me and from you. You are right, Gatsby. And here is the proof:

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A homeless man walks up to a super wealthy looking woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and says, “Excuse me, ma’am, but I haven’t eaten in four days.” She looks at the guy and says, “God, I wish I had your will.”

Ba-ding! Because I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you.

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